Over 50 Things we stopped buying and never missed. Oh the beautiful savings!

I keep hearing that becoming a Minimalist is only for rich people and it is expensive to become a Minimalist!


Honestly, I have never heard a good or solid argument for this comment. But here is an example of how Minimalism can save you money.


Lots of money actually!



Bellow,is a list of things we had stopped buying years ago and never missed them.

1. Television cable. ------------> Netflix and Amazon prime
2. Gas for my car. ---------------> Plug-in Electric
3. Oil change for my car.---------------------> Plug-in Electric car
4. Paper towels.-------------> Stack of 20 kitchen washable towels for drying hands and dishes
5. Disposable wipes--------> Micro fibers.
6. Garbage bags--------------> Barely create garbage. Directly in to recycle bin, compost bin and garbage bin. I have three small buckets, one for each in my kitchen and once they are full, I dump everything in the big garbage bins. (But have some bio bags in hand just in case.)
7. Any kind of ziplock bags.-----------> Reusable fabric pencil bags with zipper. Also Pyrex dishes.
8. Aluminum foils -----------> Not needed. Either use Pyrex dishes or cover plates with clean napkins. 
9. Tupperware. -------------------> see this post
10. Plastic wraps.------------------> Not needed Pyrex dishes. Flour cloth. Napkins
11. Sponges ------------------------> hand made crochet from recycled yarn. lasts many years and I just wash them with our laundry.
12. Dish washing liquid-----------> Eco Friendly Multi purpose cleaner
13. Surface cleaner-----------------> Diluted multi purpose cleaner or vinegar. ( Used for bathtub, kitchen.......)
14. Coffee filter -------------------> French press
15. Bottled water ------------------> Tap water in reusable containers. 
16. Hand lotion in kitchen--------> Gentle dish detergent. Olive oil if needed 
17. Jet dry dish washer rinse-----> White Vinegar.
18. Disposable plates, cups, utensils ...------> Small jars for party drinks. Plates and utenciles reusable.
19. Disposable napkins------------> Fabric home made napkins. Only have one pack handy for picky guests. 
20. Disposable aluminum containers------> Big Pyrex dishes
21. Salad dressings.----------------> Olive oil and rice vinegar purchased from bulk store in my own jars.
22. Yoghurt. ------------------------> Home made
23. Tissues --------------------------> Only have a home made handkerchief made out of old Tshirts for my kid with allergies. Rest of us don't need it. Don't even remember what would we be using it for! 
24. Books -----------------> Library and on line blogs. 
25. CD, DVD -------------> Pandora and Netflix.
26. Toys -------------------> Once a year for Christmas. One Big toy only. The Birthday party is our gift by itself.
27. Clothes ---------------> once a year or so. Only if we truly need something. (Consumerism and buying cheap clothing and fast fashion is horrible for the environment.)
28. Fabric softener-------> Not needed. Haven't used for many years and no one noticed. 
29. Drier sheets-----------> Not needed
30. Face wipes, make up removers, eye make up removers wipe..... ------ > wash with soap and wash cloth. Olive oil. Or coconut oil to remove make up. Don't wear too much make up any ways. 
31. Cotton rounds--------> Home made and reusable. 
32. Shower gel------------> Soap
33. Exfoliator and scrubs for body.-----------------> Natural Loofah or a wash cloth
34. Hair masks and treatments-----------------------> Olive oil and conditioner
35. Face scrubs ----------------------------------------> Baking Soda
36. Tooth Paste-----------------------------------------> Home made
37. Mouth wash.---------------------------------------->  No need
38. Different lotions for different parts of body. Foot lotion, hand lotion, cellulitis, dark spots, skin brighter.ETC, ETC....!!! --------> Home made lotion. Coconut butter+Shea butter+ bees wax+ water+ jojoba oil. Or just put some oil on right after shower and you are done. 
39. Different make ups --------------->  See this post
40. Colognes and perfumes ---------->  Only have one perfume and only use it on special occasions. Lasts two years. It is in my Christmas list every other year. 
41. Face mask, cleanser, toner, tanner, black head remover. Etc......... ----------> Soap. Lemon juice. coconut and olive oil. Peroxide for acne. Baking soda.
42. Hand sanitizers --------------------> Not needed.
43. Candles. Still have from old days. ------> But not really needed. Used once awhile. 
44. Bath foams, salts, fizzer........ -------------> Not needed. Preferring quick showers due to Drought. 
45. Seosonal decorations ----------------> see this post.
46. Air freshener -------------------------->  natural or not needed. 
47. Office supplies.------------------------> We are paperless.
48. Printer ink -----------------------------> refill.
49. Extra Shoes ---------------------------> maybe once per year for each family member only as needed. (Fast fashion is damaging to environment)
50. Latest gadgets and electronics.--------------> still working on my husband on that. But he is doing much better :) 

I am sure there is more. But honestly, many more items I see in other people's houses that I don't buy, need nor have.

It is kind of hard to know what you don't buy if you never bought them. For example different laundry detergents for dark and light and white and wool .........

Laundry perfumes!!!!!  ....... I never even knew they do exist!!!  (What a waste of money!) 

Did, NOT buying these items changed our quality of life? You bet it did! 

-A LOT Less clutter (Visually, Mentally and Emotionally).
-Less wasting time window shopping and browzing.
-Less stress due to things finishing and being low on something. (" I need to run! We need fabric softness and I can't do laundry!" A friend once said ).
-Less spending.
-Less time at stores ( We are usually In and Out).
-Less junk to organize and deal with.


 Yes. All these Less'es deeply changed the quality of our lives.

Think about it. 

What are YOU not buying and not missing?
Paris.


Addendum:


I noticed that my computer hadn't saved my proof reading and this post was packed with mistakes. Please accept my apology.


While I am correcting the problem, I may as well add few more items.


Hee hee hee.


Here there are.

51.  Vacuum cleaner bags ------------------------>Roomba and a hand held vacuum. Just emptying the canister directly in the garbage bin does it.
51.  Any specialty tools, like various peeler, Apple cutter, Garlic crusher, Olive oil mister...........
52.  Most school supplies. Pens and other items-------------------------------> We have enough from old days to last us years to come. (Don't even know where all these pencils and pens are coming from)
53.  Extra clothing -----------------------------> We buy about once a year or so and only what we need.
54.  Microwave. Haven't had one for years.
55.  Individually packaged snacks.
56.  House decorations.----------> We have only two paintings which we have had for over 15 years.
57.  Unwanted gifts for friends -------------------> Beer, Wine, Food, eatables, Flowers, Gift card (Everybody has more than enough stuff in their houses. More incoming items for them are not the best gifts)
58.  Jewelry (Custom or real)---------------------> I have had few favorites that I love for years. Nothing new coming in
59. Nail polish ------------------> Have had a couple for years now.
60. Last but not least!!!!! Anything other than strict necessary. Includes Extra Glasses, Extra Sun Glasses, Multiple different drinking and coffee cups and glasses, Serving dishes, Fancy looking anything, Duplicate of anything and anything that needs to be advertised to be sold.


Can't even imagine how hectic my life would have been if I had been buying those stuff.


Thank you everybody for reading. Please think about your own shopping habits.
Paris

Such a beautiful day!

Such a beautiful day!

Today we traveled to San Francisco by BART (Bay Area Rapid Transit) so my husband can help me learn the direction to my new part time job in the city.
There were two beautiful incidents that I thought worth sharing with you wonderful people.

First, after taking a bus and the BART and some more walking, I learnt the directions to my work and after that, we visited a store. My husband needed to do some shopping there. Our son (now 7 years old!) found a balloon left over from the store's marketing event and before we knew it, both our kids were tossing it to each other and playing. When we finished shopping, our son was allowed to keep the balloon.

We started a long walk outside on the sidewalk. My energetic son started playing outside on the wide sidewalk in a windy/breezy San Francisco weather. He kept hitting the balloon and running after it. A sharp and strong wind suddenly started and lifted his balloon up and away. We all ran after it.

Suddenly four to five passerby people started running after his balloon to catch it for him. The wind was playing with all of us blowing it farther and higher. People of all ages and genders were jumping up and down trying to catch it. Their happy childish faces were priceless. Our son couldn't stop laughing from happiness. The wind was pretty playful and kept moving the balloon farther away up and down. Before we knew it, there were almost 6-8 grown up people jumping up and down laughing and trying to catch the balloon for our son.

Every time one caught it and handed it to our son, he let go of it again laughing and some new people starting to run after it. He did this for a while and laughed from the bottom of his beautiful little heart.

The laughter, the kindness, the playfulness and the care of all those grown up, yet childish people, was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. I felt a deep happiness in my heart for being blessed with seeing such a beautiful scene.



Now, the second incident!

We walked for a long time to get to the Mall with few stops for our kids to see some stores. By the time we got there, it was passed 7:00 PM and the Mall was closed. We forgot that the Mall closes at seven on Sundays. Also my husband admitted, he walks the same distance a lot faster without the kids. So he miscalculated the timing.

We had plans to use a bus from our home and the BART(AKA metro) to go to San Francisco and the Bus only to come back home, so I learn where to find both stations. We started walking towards the Bus terminals. Again it proved to be a very long walk and our children were getting hungry and grumpy. Unfortunately, we didn't bring anything to eat with us. Suddenly our son saw the sign of a McDonald's from far and got super excited about it.
I know. I know. A horrible thing to do to feed hungry kids junk food. But none of us had the heart to pass next to one with our kids being so hungry knowing it is hardly a possibility we could find anything open at this hour of around 8:00 PM. Plus, hunger can cause big time grumpiness for both kids and grown ups, you know!

So we entered the McDonald's and ordered some food. Sat down and started eating. Our moods lifted immediately.

On a big long tall table close to us, a group of young people were leaving and a homeless looking dirty man stopped them on their way out and asked to dig in, in to their trays looking for some leftovers. He found few fries here and there and ate them fast and sat back at his table waiting. I saw this scene and it broke my heart to see someone this hungry seating across us. Told my husband about it and we started talking about buying him a meal.

Suddenly , I noticed the guy got up fast and grabbed a forgotten phone charger from the big table. Looked like someone from that big group that just left, had forgotten it.

I started describing to my husband what I saw, because his back was towards that big table. At that second, a young man ran in the store looking around desperately and asking the two girls seating on another table about a phone charger. Once he made an eye contact with me, I pointed to the homeless guy believing he had the young man's forgotten charger.

"What?" He asked.
"Looks like you lost your charger. That gentleman seating over there just found one and grabbed it. It might be yours." I said feeling sorry for the guy.
"No. I didn't loose my charger. I just need one desperately. Do you have any?" He said.
"Sorry. We don't carry one. But check with that guy there. I believe he might have one." I said.
"Thank you." He said going to the homeless man asking about a charger. The man showed him his new found treasure and it was a match!!! Yes. The charger matched his phone!!!
"I sell it to you for $5" the homeless man said.
"Yes. Yes. I will buy it from you. Here is $5" The phone charger seeker said very happily and paid him $5 cash. Got the charger and on his way running out, he looked at us and said " Thank you!!! You guys are life savers. I really needed that charger. It was an emergency" I nodded and smiled and he left.

The homeless guy went as fast as he could and stayed in the line to buy food. Few minutes later, he came back very happy with a proud look on his face along with a plain burger. He sat on the big table, eating, counting the rest of his money over and over while happily watching TV.

This scene, not sure what to call it, serendipity? mercy of a higher power? the law of attraction? Was a scene that truly brightened our hearts. Seeing those two very happy faces, was definitely priceless. As long as we were still there, no one came looking for a forgotten phone charger. We just hoped the person that forgot the charger, has a backup one.

What an awesome day!!!

What are some of the little perfect magical moments in your days? If you like to share them with us, we truly appreciate it.

Paris.

See my new page "Related Movies"

I love to watch documentaries. They are so many wonderful and eye opening documentaries out there and most of them are free. On my new page, i created a list of many movies and documentaries for you that have been life changing for me and my family.

So Please look on the right side of my blog for the newly added page called " Related movies".

I will constantly update it and add more links and names. I will deeply appreciate it if you wonderful readers add to my list by making a comment to this post.

Here is a link to my new page.

Thank you and enjoy.
Paris

Minimise Heirlooms, gifts and memories!!!

Minimise heirlooms, gifts and memories!!!

The best gift!!!

Can i be frank with you? I mean very very frank with you? Heirlooms, gifts and memories are mostly a pain. A big pain. You might be wondering why such an extreme and insensitive feeling about those precious important stuff. But to me, they have almost always been nothing but a pain.

Don't take me wrong, i value a beautiful unique piece that i loved and were given from someone special. But Those are very rare and very unique. Other than those very unique occasions, rest of the heirlooms i have received were a pain. No matter what the heirloom is, it could truly become a pain. I am not a jewelery person and being a minimalist in my heart, i am not a big fan of stuff either. But i still know how to value a true heirloom.

We live in a time of abundance and digital memories. Everybody has hundreds maybe thousands of photos. Our houses are packed with stuff and mostly junk. The last thing we need is more stuff. In my opinion, as far as memories go, a photo will do it.

For me, they are two kinds of heirlooms though.

Special heirlooms.

The kind that is very special to the person who is giving them and wants to give that gift to someone he, or she loves. Those are valuable unique loving heirlooms that need to be cherished and valued. Those are the gifts that the person will never, ever ask about and once they are given, they are yours to do whatever you want with them. You can sell them during difficulties, you can keep them forever and think about the loving person who gave them to you and you can pass them farther as a gift to your own loved one. They are given only once. The person is not going around buying stuff and giving them to you and calling them heirlooms.

This would be the gift i received from my lovely Mother In Law. She gave me her own precious  necklace. Her own very valuable, unique, beautiful Platinum and Brilliant necklace. The necklace she loved, used and cherished for many years. The necklace she wished for and hoped for and longed for over the years and have been very dear to her. But once she gave it to me, she has never ever asked about it. She said "You are young and it is your turn to enjoy it. Do what ever you want with it. It is yours". This is something i kept lovingly in the Bank and hope to wear it on very special occasions. I thought about modifying it and use the beautiful unique Brilliant (Diamond with a special cut) to make a very nice ring for myself. A contemporary ring that will match my taste and will be just the way i like it. A ring i will actually use. But still hadn't decided yet. For now, it is loved and cherished just the way it is and is valued, because someone that i love, loved me so much that she was willing to let her precious necklace go and wanted me to have it.

The pain Heirloom.

 A pain would be a gift that is not given to you because you are loved. It is given to you either because it is the tradition, or it is an obligation, or the purpose is for the giver to make sure you remember him or her and it is all about the giver, not the receiver. Lets call them Pain Heirlooms, shall we? Those kinds of pain heirlooms could be from a friend or relative or even close family. Something that they just give you to remember them. But it is nothing about you and it is all about them. It could be a vase, clothes, even some jewelery. They are usually not special to the person and have no emotional value. Sometimes they do have emotional values and the giver regrets giving them to you and is constantly monitoring them. The monitored gifts are a leash. A pain. The giver keeps asking about them and wants to make sure you Never, Ever forget that THEY gave them to you. Do you see what i mean? They are not for you. It is not about the gift, or about you. It is all about the giver.

This kind would be many gifts i have received through out the years and have been a pain. One example of these kinds of gifts is some jewelery that i have received on a special occasion from someone pretty close to me, but the giver keeps asking about them. She even got upset once because she never saw me wearing them and said to my daughter "You know what? your mom is not worthy of MY jewelery. From now on, they are yours." My poor daughter was confused about what is happening. As you can see, this had nothing to do with making me happy. It was all about that person trying and hoping to show off her kindness. Would i ever dare to think to do something with those jewelery? Only if i am planning to have a very bitter relationship with that person. If i ever thought about modifying them, she would never ever forgive me touching HER jewelery. This type of gift makes you feel like you are just the temporary safe keeper and not the new owner.

Another similar gift was a vase i have received many years ago. I was told it is hundred years old and is very valuable. I received it in a different country and i had to carry it in my arms during a very long flight and Plane change. I had to even carry it to the bathroom with me to make sure it is not going to break. I had this guilt that it was valued by the giver and i really have to take care of it. it was not my style at all and in my opinion, it was very ugly too. But i kept it mainly for the guilt, love and the respect i had for the giver. During these years, we moved many times and this one gift has always been a big source of stress for me. The last time we moved (Two weeks ago. More on that later :)), i could not find anywhere safe for it. We downsized drastically and moving to a 1000 sq from a 3800 sq is not an easy task. So I finally decided to sell it in an antique shop and use the money to buy something small. Something unique to keep and always think about that person when i see that small heirloom. I decided to create my own smaller and more manageable heirloom from her gift. So with a painful and guilty heart thinking how special this piece have been to that person, i looked for an antique shop. I thought someone else can take care of it better than i do. I felt like i owed it to the giver and it was my duty to take care of her valuable vase.  It took me a while to find one. I made an appointment and went in there to see the owner. Here is how it went.

"Who gave this to you?"Asked the owner, looking at it with her magnifying glass.

" So and so...  gave it to me. She said it is very old and very very valuable. I have been carrying it around in the airplane. I also held it in my arms every time we moved. But i am so scared to break it and not be able to take care of it too good" I said feeling ashamed of myself for trying to sell it..

She lifted her eyes and looked at me kindly and smiled. Then she said. "Do you see it says Oven Safe? Do you see these corners? Do you see the bottom of it?"

I nodded my head each time looking carefully at the vase trying to see what she sees.

"Well.  This piece is NOT old nor valuable. It is a very inexpensive and cheaply made piece. It has been bought within last several years.  My advise to you would be, either gift it, or there is a goodwill close by if you want to donate it." She said.

First thing i felt was relief. Relief from this guilt i carried with me along with this vase all this time. I was happy. I could finally get rid of that ugly vase not feeling guilty that it was something super special to the giver. The burden of the responsibility i felt all this time was lifted. But then remembering how hard it was to carry it in my arms all this time worrying about the special value and meaning it had to that person made me upset. Now it does not matter if it was valuable or not. But the bottom line is, it has become a pain to me and it didn't add to the value of my life emotionally. It made me so upset that first thing i did was placing it in the goodwill bag to go out and then turning on my computer to write this post.

Now you know how some heirlooms are meaningless and just are a pain? I am not going to do that to my kids. I am not going to give them stuff and make them feel guilty for not loving it. I am going to set them free. I am going to set myself free as well and am going to keep only the heirlooms that feel very special to me. Not the ones that are given to me just because. I am going to let myself free and let everything go. I am going to live for myself and not for others.

Do you have a heirloom or pain gift that you are keeping it only due to guilt?

Paris

Unhappy? Life is like eating sun flower seeds.

Here in US, we have electricity, we have clean drinking water, we have cars that drive us around, we
can travel around the globe, I mean a whole planet, while seating and watching movies in only few hours. We have coconut in the middle of winter. We have TVs and phones, wireless ones. We have whatever you can imagine.

So,

Why are we so unhappy? What makes us feel so dissatisfied? I can't stop thinking about it, and not understanding. All these unhappy people I meet, make me even more confused. What is wrong with us? What else we want?

Now, i am not talking about unhappiness due to a disease or a family problem. I am talking about being unsatisfied and ungrateful while living in the suburb.We get in to our nice big air conditioned cars, drive to the store and buy eggs and bread and milk and meat and junk food. We then come back home in the gas filled big air conditioned car and unload everything filling up our two refrigerators. ( Half of this food will end up spoiled and in the garbage can) Then we seat in front of TV and browse on hundreds and hundreds channels. Then we start feeling down about other people's happy and perfect lives full of perfect looking materials and a whole series of self pity start forming in our heads.

" Why can't I have that car? I wish I lived like those lucky people that can drive those cars. Poor me. I just have too many bills. I can never be happy the way Joneses are. Happiness is not for me"

" Oh, my life sucks. I barley can keep up with my nasty bills. My life is miserable, because i can't afford a bigger house like others do. Why can't I be happy like others. If i only had a bigger house to put all my stuff in it, I would be all the way happy"

"Wow. Look at all the vacations other people take. I am stuck here working and paying bills. I have to do laundry and the dishes. But look how happy people, have no problem in the world."


Do I need to say more? I think you know what I am talking about. We have every thing you can imagine that only 100 years ago could be the ultimate sources of happiness and reserved for royalties and are still as unhappy as one can get.

I thought deep and hard. I don't blame the unhappy people. I just feel bad for them. Because due to circumstances, first, they started becoming unhappy and loosing the sight of what they HAVE. Then they started feeling miserable and focus of what they DON'T HAVE.

So what can cause this shift? Why we loose the happiness and pleasure we experienced at first when we acquired our stuff and conveniences.

I thought deep about that too and I notice this shift happens, BECAUSE we acquired all the stuff and conveniences.

You see, it is not easy to explain. I had a hard time explaining what I thought to my husband. So I came up with the sunflower seeds theory.

I love sunflower seeds. i love to crack them open and chew the small sweet yummy seed. Once, i bought a bag of unshelled sunflower seeds. They are wonderful for salads. I remember, one time I grabbed a handful and put them in my mouth. It was NOT what I expected. I had to drink lots of water to be able to swallow them. They were just simply not fun to eat. There was no pleasure in eating them. I prefer to work for them and crack each one of them individually and then eat them. For some reason, the same seed, tastes so much better when it took hard work to get to.

Do you know what i am saying?

To me, life is like eating Sunflower seeds. When we have to be patient and work for something, we enjoy it more. When we have to work hard towards a goal and the result is a little bit of yummy ness, we value it more. It makes us happier and we try to get and enjoy every little piece of it. Experience have shown us that the rarer something is, the more valuable it is. If we had mountains and mountains of Diamonds, it had no value. Nobody would enjoy it.

Imagine years ago, if you would tell someone that there in no need for them to walk a mile in storming blizzard to fill up their bucket with the clean drinking water and all they need to do is twist or lift a handle and here it comes, the clean drinking water, how happy they would be. Now imagine how shocked and happy they would be if you tell them not only you can get clean water, but also you can get HOT clean water with the other handle. They would think it is magic. No more gathering wood for the heat to warm the water? They would be in heaven.

We devalue everything we don't work hard for. I know now you would say, I work hard to pay my bills. But what I meant was, if you would have your own chickens and raise them, would you let any of their eggs get spoiled or end up in the garbage bin? If you grow your own vegetables, would you forget the precious tomatoes and vegetable in you fridge in the garage after you worked so hard to help them grow?

You see, the more connected to our lives we are, the more we appreciate every thing we have. If we had to wash our clothes by hands, a washer would be the best thing ever and we would never, ever nag about doing the laundry. In reality, we are not doing the laundry, we just put the clothes in a machine, add detergent and turn it on. We don't even have to make our hands wet!!! How can we complain about doing the laundry??!! We are truly spoiled. Don't even get me started on dryers and the luxury of having and using one.

The unhappy people's lives are like the handful of unshelled sunflower seeds. You get a lot of the prepared products and that, makes you unhappy. Paying bills does not make us work hard for things, it just feels like another scary task. It is a chore. It does not bring us pride and joy. It does not make us value and enjoy everything more. We don't connect the bill of electricity with the luxury of having a washing machine. We just pay and nag about how expensive our lives are. But we never really stop and thing that the money we are paying, is bringing us an enormous amount of luxury that we need to cherish and enjoy. We all feel that we are ENTITLED to all the luxury we have in our lives and the bill part in just a very bad inconvenience.

THAT, makes us unhappy. So, how can we become happier? To me, it is quite simple.

 Reduce your luxury.

Even if it is done temporarily. Consider it a happiness training. For example, wash the dishes by hand for a week. Wash your clothes by hand for a week. Have a no electricity night once a while.( This one is fun. My kids love it) cook food from scratch. stop buying stuff. sweat in the heat and don't turn the AC on. Put on a heavier Jacket in the cold and leave the heater off. I know theses ideas look dumb. But trust me. After a hot day, you will truly enjoy the nice cool breeze coming from your AC.You will start noticing things that you have not been noticing before and you will start appreciating everything.

If you just train yourself to accept and get used to some inconveniences, life will be so much happier and you will learn to love your washer. You will be happy and feel blessed to be able to do laundry without even getting your hands wet. You would fall in love with all the conveniences that surround you.

All you need is the Sunflower seeds with the shell, your life, with some hard work and inconveniences. The hard work will teach you to truly enjoy every little piece of your life today. In a culture, where we all have more and more conveniences and are becoming chronically dissatisfied despite of all the luxuries, a little bit of hard work is a small price to pay in exchange for happiness.

Think about it !!!.

Kindness Vs. fear.



Gotta love this love.

Few month ago, we were driving back from a football party in our minivan. It was around 1:00 AM and it was one of the coldest nights our area have experienced. I remember i had to run the heater in my car for few minutes to warm the car before i can bring my kids to the car. We all had warm jackets too and still it felt like an extremely cold night.

My lovely husband had a few drinks, so i was driving the car. On our way, we passed an area that is next to a big lake and a long Dam. This area is empty of any buildings or civilization of any kind and is just a construction site.

My kids and husband were very sleepy and everything was calm till suddenly i noticed something unusual. I wasn't sure if i saw correctly. But i thought i saw a woman crying and walking in the dark next to the road with her arms tucked under her arm pits hugging herself. With the darkness all around us and the freezing temperatures outside, at first i thought i was wrong and i just imagined it. But then this nagging thought came to my mind. What if i didn't imagined it.

"I think i just saw a woman walking next to the road alone" I said to my family. " Should i go back and check on her?"

The first instinct that came to my family's mind was " NO. What if she is a bad person and has a gun?" My daughter said.
"Don't worry, i am sure someone will stop to help her if she needs help. Who knows who she is. Don't risk it" Said my husband.
" I am scared" Said my little boy.
I suddenly decided to just turn back and check to see if i saw correctly or not. My daughter started panicking." What if she is a bad guy. Don't do it mom. I am scared. She is going to kills us all" She said.
I just made a U turn" I will just check to see. Don't worry. What if she needs help? It is too cold for the bad guys to be out and about." I said.

We turned back and after couple of minutes there she was. A woman in her forties walking in nothing but some pyjamas, shaking. I stopped the car in the opposite side of the road and asked if everything is OK and if she needs any help. She was shaking and crying. She couldn't even answer. I tried again and asked if she needed a ride. She started weeping and walked towards our car. My daughter went to the back seat to make room as we opened the door for her. She sat in the car and kept weeping. She was shaking so bad that she couldn't even talk. I gave her my jacket and we warmed the car up for her.

She kept saying" Oh I am so cold. I thought i am going to die tonight. I am just so cold. So cold"

 I turned around in my seat and held her hands trying to comfort and calm her. She cried and cried for a long time while we were just waiting for her to calm down. Holding her hands, I noticed she had a nice wedding ring and some other jewellery on. She did not give the impression of being a homeless person at all. Not that it would make a difference to me. But made me thing something unusual has to happen to her.

Finally after a long cry she started to calm down. I asked her where she wants us to take her.
"I want to come with you. Every where you are going, i come." She said and started crying again.
"So sorry, we can't do that. But I can give you a ride to anywhere you want to go." I said.
" I am so sorry. You are right. I am so ashamed. I am just so ashamed" She said.
" Is OK. How long have you been walking? This place is far from everywhere." My husband asked.
" My husband threw me out of the car. We had a fight. I thought he would come back for me. I started walking towards our home. But it is so cold. I felt i can't walk any more. I thought i was going to faint. I was sure i am going to die tonight. God bless you" She said.

" Did any body stopped to help?" I asked thinking some people might have stopped and she didn't feel comfortable getting in to their car.
"No. Nobody stopped to help. You were the only person" She said.

I was speechless. Didn't know what to say. Lets say her husband is crazy. But nobody stopping to help her was what stunned me. So we drove her home in silence and she finally stopped shaking. She gave me directions and her home was almost 20 minutes driving. She would have never survived the night and would have dies from Hypothermia if she had to walk that distance. She was also pretty far a way from all the homes and stores. If she couldn't go any farther and sat somewhere or passed out , It would have been impossible for anybody to see her next to that dark and quiet road.

Once we got to her home, we waited for her in the car to make sure she can enter her home. She said she didn't have a key. She came back with a smile and handed me my jacket back. She said she did get in through the doggy door and her husband was not home. In my heart, for humanity's sake, i hoped he was out looking for her.

She smiled and said Thank you and god bless you and your family and went inside. We all took a deep breath and my kids that kept quiet up till then, started attacking us with questions. We all slept deeply in thought that night.

This incident made me think hard and long. What make me wonder, was that i remember, when i was a kid, back in Iran, stopping and helping and giving ride to people was the most normal thing. We did it all the time. Stopping and helping was just a natural part of life. Based on what i hear, this used to be natural and normal here too. But what happened? What caused us to forget our small kindnesses. What i did that night, did not appeared to me as an extraordinary act. It felt like every body would have done the same and yet there we were, the only people that stopped.

When I look around, i see love and kindnesses every where. It is there in people's heart. But what causes it to be faded away and lost in some cases? What is the reason for all these wonderful people to ignore their inner kindness?



One example of pure kindness without any expectation is my wonderful neighbour. She is one of the sweetest people and has a very beautiful heart. Every time, she returns back our garbage or recycling bins to our curb side( The weeks that we have the need for. We are almost waste and garbage free). I never asked her to do that. She just does it out of kindness. I found out that she does that for other neighbours too.

Here is a Photo of my wonderful and sweet neighbour. Here is a face of kindness.

The same neighbour helped our other neighbours a lot when they had a problem with mold, with opening the doors to her house to help that neighbour. She also organized a nice birthday party for one neighbour's son that turned 16. Seeing these apparently small but enormously beautiful kindnesses coming from her, makes me believe in humanity.

Another deep memory i have about the kindness goes way back to my student days. I studied dentistry in Romania. Back then, it was a deeply troubled country that just came out of communism and people were trying to adjust to the new lifestyle.

Everything was sacred. The winters were so cold and i never forget how everything would freeze inside my small room i rented, not to mention the outside.
It was during my exam periods and i hadn't slept all night studying with some low music on. I didn't have time to go shopping and had nothing to eat. My exam started at 7:30 in the morning and it would take many hours. The elevator was also broken in our ten story building. I lived at the seventh floor. One day, when my exam was finished in the afternoon, i finally arrived at the seventh flood by stairs after 40 minutes walk to my home from school in freezing cold temperatures and snow. I was tired, hungry, cold and exhausted. Happy though to finally be able to collapse on my bed in my cold and lonely apartment. Once on the seventh floor, i saw my grumpy old Romanian neighbor standing at her door staring at me. I always tried to avoid her. She scared me and never really responded when i said hello to her.

But that day was when she finally started talking to me. Here is how our conversation went:

"HEY, YOU, GIRL. COME HERE"She said with a loud voice.
I thought to myself" Oh, NO. My music must have been too loud last night and now she is angry" So i went towards her ready to apologise.
" I saw your light was on all night and i didn't smell any cooking." She said.
"I am so sorry for being disturbing you" I said thinking to myself "What a nosy person! So what if i didn't cook anything.
"Come here girl" she said grabbing my hand and took me inside her apartment. The first thing i felt was the heavenly smell of food. She had a whole table set up for me along with fancy napkins and warm soup.
"Sit down girl. Eat. You must be hungry" She said.
I was speechless. I started eating with teary eyes while being served warm delicious soup and then a big piece of pork steak along with mashed potatoes and steamed vegetable. A glass of mineral water and i finished one of the best meals i ever had in my life. Later on came some home made cookies and coffee. I ate with teary eyes and that was the beginning of one of my most beautiful friendships.

Four years later, she still called me girl and had a hard time memorizing my name. She still raised her voice when talking due to hearing problem. She still looked grumpy when not laughing. But she was one of the most beautiful people i had the pleasure of knowing.

She took care of me when i was burning with extremely high fever. She was the one person that i knocked at her door when having any problems. She let me sleep over in her apartment all night while she placed cold compresses on my forehead to reduce my fever. I used to get sick a lot back then.

So that is how this angry grumpy old Romanian woman became my friend, my family and my mom during some of the toughest years of my life. I fixed hers, her son's and her grand kids teeth in our school. I tried to help her as much as i could to repay at least a small part of her kindnesses. Years later, i cried hard when the Christmas card i sent her came back with an ugly insensitive stamp" Deceased" it said . I cried and missed her. I missed her forever grumpy face that i came to love dearly. I missed her warm cluttered home which was nothing but a small room and a very tiny kitchen smelling like cooked cabbages.Almost twenty years later, I still miss her.

Now years later, when i look back, thinking about people i have met,  living in Three different continents and four different countries, all i see is lots and lots of love and kindness. Regardless of the religion, the language and the culture, kindness is everywhere and in every body's heart. I had many many bad memories of course. But the kindnesses i saw were a lot more and a lot greater than the negative.

I miss those days when we walked to school without being scared of kidnappers. I miss those days when robbers where robbers, not killers. They never had guns and they were not scary. I miss those days when kids played outside.

I am so tired of the media telling us about all the bad in the world. I am so tired of being scared of guns in the wrong hands. I miss those days when only police and army had guns and the rest of us, were just normal people.

I am tired of the media planting seeds of fear in our hearts and not acknowledging all the good that is around us. I miss the weaponless, fearless life we used to live as a kid. I regret to say that one of the first words my little kids learnt was "Bad guys". I have seen amazing kindnesses in places less expected. I deeply value the human nature.

What you think of all these? I would love to hear your opinion and hear what are your experiences with kindness and care from people least expected. I would love to read your comments. Please write for me. What have you done lately to help the kindness win and conquer the fear?

Paris

No New Year resolution.

No New Year resolution.

Stop making New Year resolutions.

The reason?

The New year, the new month and the new Monday have been coming and going, and the chances that you actually lost that extra weight, or became perfectly organized , or exercised and got in perfect shape for the rest of the year have been very slim. Every year, we make the same resolutions and at the end, it might make us feeling worst and even feeling like a failure.

The new year resolution, is just another way to reset our clocks and tell our inner child;
" Ready, Set, Start."
 But in reality, it is just another day and It never really feels different than any other day.

To get your desired result and succeed, the best way is, Setting deadlines. This was the best thing for me and it worked wonderfully.

Here is how it works:

1. Set a deadline and decide that before the first of the year, you will loose that extra weight or you will finish that nagging, never ending paperwork...

2. Don't wait for the start. Just get started now and work on finishing things before your deadline.

3. Re set your deadline at the end of each day,week, month or even year if your task requires.

4. Take small steps and do not jump in big goals. For example, decide that by the end of this week, you will loose half an inch from your waist and two pond. Then the next week make another deadline and set another goal. When you decide that by the end of this year, i will loose 50 pound, it is a goal that possibly with scare you and fade away like every other year.

The reality is, there are a lot more people doing things at the last minutes than people that are prepared and finishing everything long before they are due. So instead of fighting it and make yourself miserable, set deadlines. The artificial deadlines are a wonderful way to actually do the things you need to do.

Have you ever noticed that before a trip, you want to do and finish everything? That is that artificial deadline i am talking about. To be proactive and prepared, you could adjust your deadline. For example, finishing taxes by the end of February, or pack for your move and set the deadline for the packing to be finished one week before the actual moving date.

This system makes you have enough time and a time cushion if you need to. It also takes the stress away from doing things you need to do and helps you to got the job done.

What are your resolution/deadlines this year?

Creative beauty. Stop buying.

Source: moonlightrainbow.tumblr.com via Parastoo on Pinterest

Source: moonlightrainbow.tumblr.com via Parastoo on Pinterest

Beauty does not have to cost a lot.


Life is full of inexpensive creative ways to be enjoyed without the expense.


Also with some natural and biodegradable parts, a very beautiful art can be created and enjoyed.


Stop buying plastic pieces and start creating simple little pleasures in your life.

Think twice before you buy anything. Think, is it worth it? Is it worth the time we spend? the expense and the space we dedicate and pay for?

Just think twice before you buy it. We have the tendency to just buy because something is on sale. But in reality, the time we spent earning the money we are spending is the true cost of the item we are buying. If you buy something that you could live without, it might not be worth it.

Always, always ask yourself this, before buying,

" Can i live without it? Do I need it? "
These are important questions to ask yourself.

85 Simple little pleasures.

What makes us happy? Why at we always in pursue of happiness? What happened when we find it?

People set goals and look forward to become happier. It is a wonderful thing to do. Setting goals and working hard towards them by itself brings us happiness. But how about all the little things in our daily life that counts? How about simple little pleasures?



Here are the list of the simple little pleasures that one can enjoy simply by paying attention and valuing them.

1. Watching a child sleep.
2. Falling asleep while cuddling in a rainy day.
3. Holding hands
4. Sun
5. Blue sky
6. Rain
7. Cloud
8. Music
9. Dancing to a live band
10. Smell of coffee
11. Smell of flowers
12. Smell of fresh rain
13. Smell of fresh cut grass
14. Lady bugs
15. Waking up early
16. Walking bare food in the grass
17. A hot bubble bath in the cold weather
18. Candles
19. Running through the autumn leaves
20. Smell of burn fire in the morning in a village
21. The colors of Autumn
22. Memories of the first kiss
23. Fire place
24. Baby smell
25. Coloring
26. Watermelon
27. Fog
28. Finishing a long, hard job on your to do list.
29. Stretching in the morning
30. A Smile from a stranger
31. Looking at flowers
32. A friend's hug
33. A warm cup of coffee in the snow.
34. Trying to catch snow in my mouth
35. Running in the rain
36. Making snow angles
37. Jazz music
38. Dancing
39. Afternoon nap
40. Birds chirping in the early mornings
41. Good memories
42. Full moon
43. Laughing hard
44. Evening breeze on a warm night
45. Talking to old friends.
46. Watching a good movie again
47. Hot chocolate
48. Cackling firewood
49. Summer rains
50. Ice creams
51. Water
52. Love
53. Kiss
54. Hugs
55. Family
56. Coloring
57. Butterflies
58. Petting a cat's cozy fur
59. Apology
60. Reading
61. Sunrise
62. Finding seashells.
63. A beautiful view
64. Fresh tomatoes
65. Farmer's market
66. Thunderstorm
67. Rainbow
68. Sneeze
69. Yawn
70. Sleeping
71. Quiet times
72. Good food
73. A glass of vine
74. Freedom
75. Holiday music
76. Floating on the water
77. Walking barefoot on the sand
78. Little acts of kindness
79. Waking up fresh
80. Someone truly being happy to see you
81. A good dream
82. Listening to kids play by themselves
83. Smell of toast in the morning
84. Weekends
85. An honest compliment
86. ...

Simplified Holiday gifts. 14 tips.

Holidays are around the corner.

These wonderful days are, by far, my favorite time of the year. The fire place, the cold weather, smell of fire and cinnamon. Hot chocolate. Christmas songs. Holiday decorations. Reading Rudolph book for my kids, the beautiful music everywhere " Chestnuts roasting on the open fire"

How come with all these beauties, it became one of the most stressful times of the year? It suppose to be filled with joy and happiness. What happened? Why?

Shopping happened.

Yes. when it is holiday season, all people think about, is how much shoping they have to do, how much money they have to spend, how to make time for all the shopping. Last minutes shopping has become one of the greatest source of stress. Not to mention the Credit Card bills that will follow in January. So what is the solution? How can we have a wonderful holiday like good old day without going broke?

Here are some tips.

• The first thing you need to do is , change your mindset about holidays. Don't look at it as a chore needing to be done and over with. Think about how wonderful and beautiful it is. Look at it as a beautiful and joyful experience, not a source of stress.

• If you have time, buy ahead of time. When you see something on sale, or something that you know for sure would make someone happy, buy and save it ahead of time.

• Reduce your expectation and teach you family member to reduce theirs. You don't have to buy the biggest and the most expensive gifts. Get used to giving small meaningful gifts in stead of huge and expensive purchased gifts.

• When you give a simple, yet meaningful gift, the other person will appreciate, not feeling obligated to go out and shop for an expensive gift for your the next year.

• Give gifts of services or experiences, instead of unnecessary stuff. We all have closets, garages, pantries, cabinets and rooms packed with stuff. When you give a gift of service ( Massage, restaurant's gift certificate...) the person can truly enjoy it without adding to their clutter.

• You don't need to buy too many gifts for your kids. One nice present ( Something they need) and some mini stocking stuffer should be enough. Help your kids write a letter to Santa ahead of time and let them know that Santa can only bring 1-2 presents, so they need to choose their favorite and make it easier for Santa.

• Don't fill the stocking with cheap plastics. Place some edible, or educational gifts. Candy or cookie along with an old fashion,wooden or knitted ornament or toys are something kids will be looking forward to. One quality ornament per year, created a tradition in our home. It is easy to buy, inexpensive, makes my kids happy and it will not end in the landfills or trash can or clutter our home. They deeply value and always keep these ornaments.

• Make Do-It-Yourself gifts if you have time. Holiday cookies, Home made soaps and some other home made products are wonderful gifts with some personal touch.

• Make a list of all the people you want to thank, tip, or give gifts to, ahead of time. Start with writing their Holiday cards ahead of time to reduce the season's stress.

• For tips for your mail person or gardener..., it is better to write their names on an envelope ahead of time with a nice card, then plan ahead and fill the envelopes with the cash needed. This way, you wouldn't have the last minute stress. You can paper clip them to your calendar, so you would not forget about it.

• Buy only for people that you are close to. You don't need to go too far with gift giving. A small gift, like a plant or home made Wine or fruit basket with Farmers Market fruit, would make an awesome gift for business related presents.

• For your family member, keep an eye on what they need first. Don't go out and buy your husband anothe massager or golf related item , just to buy something, while he does not even play golf.

• Make sure you give them local gifts that helps the small businesses around you as well. It is rewarding too.

• Keep the wrapping to minimal. If you can use reusable gift wraps or bags, that would save you money and also is not creating waste.

Keep it simple and pleasant, so you can enjoy your holidays as well as your other family members. Happy gift giving.

Paris.

Do you love yourself ?!!!

Picture taken from our living room's window.

I was reading somewhere that " The most important person in your life is you". It is interesting that i never noticed and never paid attention to this simple truth. It is so easy to forget about it and live for someone else. I grow up in a culture that being selfless and sacrificing oneself is highly prised and thinking about oneself is condemn and is thought as selfishness. But as time goes by, i am noticing the difference between being selfish and loving myself. I also am learning the difference of sacrificing oneself and caring about others.

Big differences.

To be a better person you need to first:

• Love yourself. Loving yourself does not mean being self centered and selfish. It means you care about yourself as much as others. Hopefully even more. Loving yourself comes with loving everything about yourself. In today's culture i hear a lot of self hate words. Like "I hate my hips. I hate my hair. I am not that smart. I am too short, too tall, too fat, too slim". I lot of it comes from the commercials and the media. But a part of it is, us, just trying to get some compliments. The bottom line is, We live once( at least that is what i believe). We are here in this body and in this brain and in this situation. We could waste our life complaining and focusing about what we hate about ourselves, or we can start learning to just love ourselves just the way we are and be thankful that we are alive in this world. Just love yourself. It might take some times to learn how to do it. But you can learn.

• Respect yourself. Respecting yourself goes a long way for our mental and emotional health. If we respect ourselves, we live a higher quality and healthier life. By high quality, i don't mean materialistically! The quality and respecting self could be quiting that awful job and get a job that you enjoy doing, even when the money is less. Or it could be to get rid of your stuff and use the money for building a retirement fund for a better future. Or even could be, not tolerating a bad service or a bad job and complaining about it. Respecting yourself could come in many different forms.

• Value yourself. Valuing yourself could be similar to valuing your time. When you value yourself, you are not going to go hungry just to help someone that does not deserve your help. When you value yourself, you learn to say No to unwanted commitments and stop trying to make others happy. When you value yourself, you live for yourself, not others. You don't spend your time or money to affect other's opinion about yourself. You spend your time or money on others just because seeing them happy makes you happy.

• Take care of yourself. I have seen far too many people let themselves go just to take care of someone else. parents , children, siblings, friends...They eat unhealthy, lack sleep, get depressed, cry, gain weight, get poor, get in to big debt... One of the big reasons is love. The other reason is guilt.  But the problem is that this kind of sacrificing usually is mainly self destructing. Many times it even has no effect on the loved person's life. A mom that lets herself go to do more for her kids, can not ever guaranty a better future foe her kids. A father that works tree jobs, to be able to buy the latest gadget for his kids even though he sleeps only 4 hours, can not guaranty a great future for his kids. As a human being, we deserve and we have the right to take care of ourselves. Take care our bodies by working out and eating healthy. Getting enough sleep and reducing our stress. Take care of your emotions, protect yourself and your family from the harms of materialism and the stress associated with it.

• Be good to yourself. Stop blaming yourself for every thing. You are human after all. Nobody is perfect. what does perfect mean anyway? Stop being so hard on yourself. life is short, beautiful, simple and none complex. Stop making it so complicated. Just love yourself and others and take it easy.Enjoy your life and be content with what you got. Stop worrying about what you didn't get.Just be good to yourself.

Do you Love yourself?

Effect of the media on our happiness (1)

Media's direction.


The turn the media is taking is really disturbing me. The advertising and commercials, the violence, the bad behavior. I don't even know where to start.

For start, we all spend too much time with the media.TV, Internet, Radio...
 
We have a TV ( No cable) and we are not planing to get rid of it. But i truly believe we need to limit the use and the time we spend on it.

There are many good movies and programs that are really good to watch and be informed, but we have to be very selective to be able to locate those programs.

The problems I see with our TV time is:

Violence
The amount of violence showed on the media is just incredible. The violence has become so normal to our kids and even to us that we don't even know how much of it is OK and what is not OK. Unfortunately, many people learn the bad acts and wrong ways from TV.  Kids think it is cool to fight. It is normal to act aggressive towards each other. Heroes are always fighters, not lovers. being smart and loving is called Nerd or Naive.

Bad Manners
Another problem I see with the media is that people are just disrespectful, rude and negative,specially kids and teenagers and this is becoming the norm. I clearly see the change in behavior in my own kids when they watch too much TV. The problem with these movies is that the character lies , is rude, mean and hateful the whole movie, then at the end, they apologize and everything is good. Happy ending. But in reality, it does not work like that. It is not OK to act like that, it is not OK to lie, to hurt some one's feelings. It is not OK to be so negative and rude. Imagine, if you watch two hours of the bad parts and only 5 minutes of the loving sweet part, how will your brain be wired?

Over Stimulation
We are simply over stimulated. Our brains are overwhelmed by all the noises, all the colors, all the quick change of the scenes, all the decisions. It is just too much for a human brain. It is just not natural. The studied actually showed that on little kids, the TV could cause permanent damage on the brain and kids that watch too much TV, have a lot higher chance of Attention deficit disorder. The speed that the scenes change is putting too much pressure on brain to catch up. Not to mention the noise. The media is causing us to become addicted to noise and quick changing scenes. We are so used to it that normal natural life without it, is becoming too boring. Specially to kids, every thing else is boring but media.

No time
In a world that nobody has time for anything, unfortunately every body makes time for media and TV. When i look at data, i see that an average American spends hours and hours on TV, it makes me think. I think about all of us trying so hard to live longer, to do things faster and faster to have more time. But then we spend our valuable precious time watching some family fighting on TV. The families spend less time together as a family and more time on TV. The parents don't have time to notice if their kids are suffering, if their teenager are in trouble, but always make time for their favorite TV show. I remember, as a kid, i used to think a lot and wonder a lot about many things in life. I notice now that when i watch TV, i don't have time to think!!!

The greener grass syndrome
Specially for our kids, every thing is so much more colorful on TV. Every body looks like having the time of their lives. What we see on TV, is perfect bodies, beautiful faces, supper powers, big spenders, none stop having fun and sophisticated lives. Looks like every body else lives a perfect life, but us. Once, when one of my kids told me that how come they all have fun in TV,  i told her that their secret is, that "They never watch TV in TV". I was just joking, but later on i thought about how true that statement could be.

Image of men
I specially don't like the image of men in the media. On TV programs, men are shown mostly as losers that are not too smart, are usually out of shape and all they care about is beer and football and BBQ in their man cave and they are the main trouble makers.what happened to the manly men who protected their families, were strong, respectful, gentlemen, smart, charismatic and brave? There are still everywhere, but not in regular TV. I believe this is a very bad message for our kids (and their dads)

Racism
Racism is seen every where in the US' media. It always made me think, why they do not show inter racial attractions? Even though in real life there are so many interracial happy marriages, in TV you almost always see people get attracted and marry within their own race, only. I have been paying special attention to this matter and see it way too often. On Disney channel,this is also noticeable. You barely see a black person falling for a none black person. Only very very rarely you see any kind of inter racial relationships. I see a lot more of that on the UK media. I like my kids to be color blind when it comes to people, but unfortunately the US  media goes against this believe.


Brain washing
The commercials are attacking us from every direction and sneaking their way in to our subconscious minds. Then we feel that if we have that face lotion, we will look like that model and if we have that certain cereal, we will be as happy as the fake family on TV. Then we start not being happy with our own life, our own face, our own car, our own body, even our own family.Then we buy more to get happier. Then we become more unhappy due to debt. Then we have to work harder to pay for the debt. Then we become too tired from working hard. Then we watch TV to rest and forget about our problems. Then we get more brainwashed and unhappy. Then we buy more to get happier. The circle continues and the companies get richer and richer.We become poorer and poorer. The advertising companies win. The Media can also manipulate how we think. We have the tendency to believe every thing we see on TV without any questions and research.


Expense
Last but not least is the expense. The money we spend on Cable, latest TV and media set, DVD and Blue rays, CD's and CD players, I Pods, Stereo system, ... can add up to become huge. It is interesting that we are reluctant to buy Organic food or at least Organic Milk that is significantly healthier, due to expense, but have no problem spending hundred and even thousands of dollars on our Entertainment center, Cable , Cartoons for our kids, .... The TV is becoming more important to us Americans than our health.


How much TV are you NOT watching?

The good old simple life

Happy Orange

I am comparing my life with the life i used to live as a kid, years ago, back in Iran.

Our life was simpler. Not just because i was a kid and my own life was simpler and uncomplicated, no. Because the life was simpler. Less convenient! , but in a way simpler.

• We never used disposable.
• The milk was in glass bottles that we brought back to stores to be reused.
• We squeezed oranges to make orange juice.
• We took fruit to school for snack.
• We used tab water.
• Our paper work was not even comparable.
• Our school system was simpler.
• We played outside.
• There were no Fast foods.
• No obesity.
• Diabetes was a rare disease that only Grandparents had.
• Neighbors were not scared of neighbors.
• We never heard someone saying "I don't have time"
• I never knew what ADHD or Autism were.
• Kids program was only one hour per day at 5 PM. I never forget the excitement we had for that sweet time. 5 PM meant Cookies and milk along with Cartoon for one hour. We had to finish all our homework first.
• We didn't have tons of games and DVD players in the car and still get bored like our kids do now.
• We did not have such a thing as "Organic food". Every thing was the way it suppose to be. Natural and organic.

Do you remember the good old days?

Random acts of kindness


Random acts of kindness can fill the world with happiness and create a better world.

Random acts of kindness are the best things people can do for each other. In my opinion, they are one of the ultimate secrets to happiness. They make both sides happy, the giver and the receiver.



My wonderful husband on a medical mission in Ecuador.

When someone does something kind and nice for you, specially a stranger, it brings lots of happiness and joy to your heart. Makes you love life. Every thing feels better and just right.

In return, when we you do an act of kindness for someone, makes you feel happy, satisfied, accomplished, simply makes you feel good.

Our famous Persian poet and philosopher Omar Khayyam once said:

“I sent my soul through the invisible, some letter of that afterlife to spell; and by and by my soul returned to me, and answered, "I ,myself, am Heaven and Hell"”

Yes. When we do good it feels like heaven and when we do bad, our guilt feeling feels like hell.
Kindness is all around us. there are soooo many more nice and kind people in the world that we never hear about, but if there is any bad news, it is all over the news.

Lets celebrate the kindness and love in people by giving back to our community. Lets pay it forward.

Here are some simple acts of kindness that make our world a better place.

1. Hold the door open for the next person.
2. Just smile at a stranger.
3. Let someone cut in front of you in line. if in a hurry.
4. In the public transportation, give your seat to elderly or someone that looks like they could use your seat.
5. Help someone with broken car.
6. Talk to a lonely elderly
7. Return a shopping cart
8. Write a thank you note.
9. Share some fruit with your neighbour.
10. Offer to watch some one's dog, cat.
11. Pick up some one Else's trash.
12. Tell people at a customer service, how good of a job they do.
13. Compliment a stranger
14. Introduce yourself to someone new in your area or classroom or a party.
15. Give someone a hug
16. Be a good listener
17. Thank or give cookies or fresh fruit to your mail career or other service person.
18. Shovel for a neighbor
19. Bring in the garbage bins for your neighbor.
20. Compliment a parent on their child.
21. Help someone move
22. Help a coworker or friend with a problem
23. Visit a lonely person
24. Place nice and positive comments about someone.
25. Ask someone if you can help
26. Drive courteously and let others in, in the traffic
27. Entertain a bored child while waiting.
28. Be nice to people.
29. Let the managers know if a person did a good job.
30. ...

What act of kindness did you do today?

Why simplifying? Simple steps to a simpler life.

Freedom!

why to even think about simplifying? Why bother?

Simplifying has many benefits. It could be life changing. We all are used to living in a rat race. This is a life, many of us are or have been living.
 

Wake up in the morning.

Ready. Set . Gooooooo

Work.

Buy.

Pay.

Worry.

Work harder.

Buy more.

Debt.

Pay more

Worry more

Stress.

Work even harder.

Burn out and be exhausted.

Buy even more to feel happier.

More debts.

Pay more.

Stress a lot more.

Worry a lot more.

Have a lot more to clean and maintain.

Have a lot more expenses and debts.

Hire and pay people to help you with your life. Nannies, Gardeners, Cooks, Personal assistants...

Buy more to feel happy.

Work more.

...

Minimalistic lifestyle is:
 

1. STOP. Just stop for a moment.

2. STOP buying. Go on a buying diet. Lets say for 3 months. Just buy necessary grocery items. That is it.

3. Start reevaluating things you own. 

4. Start decluttering.

5. Sell, donate, sell , donate and then donate some more.

6. Down size if possible and if you choose to.

7. Reduce the amount of your belongings. Declutter. 

8. Simplify your finances, 

9. Simplify your relationships.

10. Pay off your debts.

11. Start saving, you should have some extra money ,Since you went on a money diet. Right? 

12. Start living a happier, more relax, more simplified life.
13. Start feeling FREE.

Enjoy.

What have you changed in your life today?

Less is more!!!

Quality time in the park.

The good old saying that "less is more" is something to treasure.

My family and I benefited tremendously from becoming minimalistic. Our level of minimalism is not, nor will ever be owning less than a certain amount of stuff. But what we have, makes us happy and helps us live a very comfortable life without the need for more.

Living with less, was like a fight for my family and I understand them. I always had the tendency to be a minimalist. The perfectionist in me loved it. But my family had a harder time since they truly found joy in shopping. The problem was that I was the one that had to deal with the aftermath. As the mother of the house,  the cleaning and maintaining a huge house automatically became my responsibility. Sometimes I felt I was drowning in stuff. My daughter's room was over flowing with stuff. I tried so many different things  and ideas to organize these massive about of stuff. But it didn't work.

I spent hours and hours matching every Barbie shoe and every puzzle piece. Every piece of clothing with the matching hair accessory. The time I had to spend with my daughter, was wasted in cleaning the big mess while my daughter watched TV. Oh I regret those days. I should have get all of those stuff out of my house and enjoy my little girl. That is exactly what I did.

Now we have less. Less of everything.
Less clothing.
Less toys.
Less decorations.
Less house.
Less shoes.
Less dishes.
Less stuff.
Less stress.
Less expense.
Less of being overwhelmed.
No debt.

What we ended up with is:
More time
More savings
More fun
More quality time
More bonding to the kids
More home made and healthy food
More nature
More exercise and moving around
More time for friends
More peace of mind
More of all the real good stuff.



What could you have less of to get more?

Declutter your relationship.

When it comes to decluttering, there is one thing we usually do not pay attention to and can cause tons of stress.

Decluttering our relationship.

An unhappy relationship could make the person miserable. I grew up in a culture, believing that self sacrificing was a very noble thing to do and we should always think about others first. Thinking about myself first, was considered very selfish. But yet when it got to finances and survival, being first was the only thing in everybody's mind.

Years later, I chose to have a different mind set since I was not too found of my old ways of thinking.

Now , I do my best to respect every body and do not hurry to get material goods first. but when it comes to myself, I learned to respect myself more. It is not about being selfish. It is about valuing the most important person in your life. Yourself. I know , it still might sound selfish, but without yourself being healthy and happy, can you be a good parent? Can you be a good life partner? Can you be a good friend?

I am not talking about being self centered. I am talking about being happy and healthy, respecting and loving yourself.

When you love and respect yourself, you will not tolerate destructive relationships.

Here are some tips about how how to start decluttering your relationships.

• Stop judging people around you: before you start decluttering your relationship, you need to stop being so judgmental and start respecting and caring for people, just the way they are. Remember, you can not change and should not try to change anybody. If your expectations are too high, adjust it. You want to be loved just the way you are too. Aren't you?. Choose wisely who you need to declutter from your life. After all, you don't want to loose a wonderful friend over minor details.

• Stay away from people that make you simply unhappy. Unhappiness is contagious. When you surround yourself with unhappy people, no matter how much you love them, you become unhappy. Some people make you unhappy because they are miserable and all they want and need to talk about is how unhappy they are. In other words nag about it. You never hear from them anything good. Some people make you unhappy by criticizing you all the time. They don't even know it, but hey can make you feel pretty down.

• Reduce your relationship with the family members that harm you emotionally. Try to limit your relationship from that loving family member that is criticizing your every move. the one that brings back your bad memories, treat you like you don't matter or always takes, but never gives. Some times the love just can go wrong and make us miserable. Don't forget, you can choose your friends, but you can not choose your family members. There is nothing wrong with choosing to keep a distance just to find your own happiness. There is no need to sacrifice yourself for the sake of  just being a family member. Of course you love them, but it does not mean that you have to hang out with them with the price of being unhappy. You live only once.

• Surround  yourself with happy people. Happiness is the ultimate goal for all of us. Happy people change your mood right away. People that smile all the time and are happy and pleasant make you love your life and enjoy their company. Happiness is one of the most beautiful emotions in life. 

• Surround yourself with positive people. Positive people see the glass half full. They see the best in each situation. They are full of gratitude and appreciation. One thing that makes you happy is to appreciate what you have and be grateful. Positive people are a delight to hang out with.

• Find people in the same mindset and interest. Hang out with people that you have more in common. The more you have in common , the more your will enjoy their company . You can also be a good company for people that you have more in common. Sharing a hobby or a topic can be healing and take your loneliness away.

• Surround yourself with successful people. Just like many other things, success is contagious as well. When you are hanging out with successful people, you see the happiness, the energy, the positiveness , the power in them.  Before you know it, you start feeling energetic and powerful. You start aiming for higher and you will feel much better. They also can help tremendously when you need a brain storming help.

• Be a good friend. Before you start eliminating people from your life, make sure you have been a good friend. Some times people are sour, because of the way you treat them. Are you overly critical? Are you an opinionated person. Are you the one that never listens? Think twice before judging.

Love yourself
Respect yourself
Value yourself
Take care of yourself
Be good to yourself

Bucket list!

My bucket list.

We all are waiting for that someday. Unfortunately that someday sometimes will never come. Stop dreaming and start doing. Take action. Change is good. Sometimes we don't do what we want because we are scared of the change.

As Nike says, " Just do it"

Make a bucket list for yourself and just get started.

Here is a part of my bucket list.

• Learn to dance.
• Plant a tree or more than one.
• Have blue high lights.
• See Northern lights.
• Drink at an ice bar.
• Sleep in an ice hotel.
• Travel to a tropical rain forest.
• Go to a Drive-in.
• See a Broadway play.
• Trip to New York.
• Be in Munich during Octoberfest.
• Be in San Francisco during a gay parade.
• Scuba dive.
• Camp at night at the Grand Canyon.
• Ride a camel.
• Live in Europe for one year.
• Visit a glacier before everything is melted.
• Travel to Maldives.
• Travel to  Japan.
• Travel to All the European countries.
• Get drunk at a pub.
• Learn to play an instrument.
• Rock climb.
• Hug a red wood.
• Stand under a water fall.
• Travel to Niagara Falls.
• Renew our vows.
• ...