Through out the ages, generation by generation, people have always been dreaming about having their wishes granted. Starting with Aladin and the magic lamp , to modern day Self help seminars , that has always been the goal.
The question is, reaching all our goals is making us happy? If all our dreams come true, will we be perfectly happy?
The answer is No.
As I always say, everything is relative. The secret of our happiness is not necessarily reaching a goal. it is the journey that matters, not the destination.
Why reaching our goals does not necessarily make us happy?
- We always want what we don't have, thus we focus less on what we have.
- Once we get what we want, the happiness is very short lived and we get used to it very soon.
- Once we reach our goals, we start taking it for granted and the happiness disappears.
- Always , dreaming about something , is sweeter than the actual thing, or experience.
- We can run out of goals and it will be mostly downwards from there.
- We might set the wrong goals and reaching them might make us unhappy.
- We might set miscalculated goals that were not what we thought they were.
I remember a while ago I was watching a movie called" And then it was one" it was about a family dealing with AIDS. That movie had a deep influence on me. It made me think. I was thinking that what would be the best news in the world for someone that has AIDS . It would be if someone tells them that they are AIDS free! Isn't that right? I know this would change their world. Then I thought to myself " guess what? I m AIDS free. I never had it and I don't have it" By the way, i had many tests done because of my job. So I know I don't have it. The point is, something that could be the most normal thing is someone's life, might be the ultimate dream for some one else. Like not having AIDS.
I also see the celebrities that become addicted, miserable, depressed... On the surface, they are living a life that is many people's dream. But inside, they are suffering. Looks like their goals are finished. they feel empty. there is nothing left to thrive for or work towards.
This is also how some marriages end. Waiting for years, finding the right person, big dream happily ever after weddings. Then a huge ugly divorce. Because people neglect to enjoy the "NOW" they are always waiting for something.
As my favorite of all times John Lennon said:
“Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.”
I personally believe the happiness is relative. It is all about the gratitude about what you already have and it should be linked to daily life, not big huge goals.
Don't take me wrong. Goals are important. They give you hope. But i believe we need to learn to not live our lives only for reaching those goals.
What makes you happy?